The world, through my young eyes, was foreign. How could anyone want something different than what I had? ... What did I have? I'm not even sure I knew. I wanted to tell others about Jesus. Whether that meant asking them point blank if they were a Christian, or singing gospel songs on the top of my lungs, it didn't matter. I was young and had no fear of what someone might say or think. If they didn't know God, they needed to know, simple as that.
As I was entering my "young teen" years, things were not very different. Telling others about the gospel was still very important to me. Now I wouldn't talk about salvation to a complete stranger, but as I got to know someone, I would jump at the first opportunity presented.
I was shy though. In a crowd, I mostly stuck with my parents or a sibling. I didn't really talk to anyone, unless they came over to me.
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Had I failed to read the Bible? Not at all. What I had failed to do was read and seek to understand. This mistake of mine made the Bible something I did because I had to, not because I wanted to.
Then, roughly four years ago, God got my attention. Circumstances and events disrupted the "safety bubble" I had created for myself. I needed answers, and I needed to know what was happening and why. I needed to know for myself, because it was directly affecting me in a way that caught me off guard. It was one of the hardest times of my life, but I can see now, it was a time of major growing in Christ and His word. I was reading the Bible again because I wanted to. I was seeking to know "the reason for the hope that was in me." with fervor.
As the struggles continued, I prayed that things would be different. I begged God to answer my prayer, and He did. This answer, however, was not what I had asked, but the very opposite.
Looking back, I can only thank Him, and praise God for his awesome providence and mercy. I rededicated my life to Christ and tried to live more for Him. I wanted to live in such a way that brought glory to His name. The verse in Romans 8 meant more to me than ever before: "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose."
At one time I had claimed to believe it, now I can personally attest to its truth.
Christianity should be a joy; something we live out daily, not reading the Bible and going to church on Sundays. It's so easy to fake it, especially if you've been raised in a Christian family. It's so easy to think you're doing okay by comparing yourself to the world and their low standard. I should know. I did.
Now, as a young lady of twenty, I still have a long way to go. However, I can now confidently say that my faith is something I am living out with joy. It is something I do because I want to, not because I have to.
Do you ever wonder what you should be doing as a Christian, or if you are doing enough? Friend, if you are saved, you will read your Bible because you want to. You will strive to know Christ because you want to. We are not saved by our works, but by our works, others may know we are saved.
I know I will stumble. I know I won't always want to read my Bible or pray. I know I will have more trials, but I also know I serve a God who is bigger than all that: a God with an infinite, providential power. He sees the bigger picture, and knows what will bring me closer to Him. Praise God!
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"Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new." 2 Corinthians 5:17