Motherless Mother's Day

     As I was working at a flower shop this past week, one of my jobs included handwriting people's various messages to loved ones to be put with their bouquet delivery. It was sort of a strange experience... Writing message after message of "Happy Mother's Day...", "I love you...", and "You're the best mom in the world..!" I was writing the messages I would give almost anything to tell my own Mom, but could not. I also wanted to give a message to all these people writing to their Moms. I wanted to tell them not to wait for that visit. Don't wait to put in the time. Don't wait to show your appreciation. Don't wait to say the stuff you've wanted to say but never got out. Because you probably won't know when that "I love you" will be your last. 

     Throughout the week as I thought of Mother's Day, I was sad to realize this was a holiday I was no longer apart of. But then I thought about it some more. I thought about how much my Mom poured into this family. How much she sacrificed, and the amazing offering of love that was given to lead her kids to witness a real life example of what it means to be like Christ. Her being gone doesn't change that. It doesn't take away the seeds that were planted in her family. It doesn't discount the incredible legacy she left behind. 



     So while this will be the second "Motherless Mother's Day" for my siblings and I, I'd still like to honor my Mom for everything she did for this family. Hours of prayer on our behalf, hours of  labor for her household, hours of emotion and passion for the things we pursued, hours of time and talks with her children, hours of teaching us the word of God... all of which create a lifetime of love which we will never be able to repay. But that's the kind of love that we are to follow. You know, Christ like love.  

     So to a mother who never let anyone tell her that her job doesn't matter; who realized she was raising a generation to honor God and live to serve Him, poured into her family, and understood the influence of her home as her battle ground, thank-you.... Through guiding and training the hearts of her children, she understood the power behind the vital truth that she was creating a legacy with the ability to build up or break down a nation. 


     This is the example I was given every day of her life, and one I hope I too will someday be able to emulate, at least a little. And it's with much respect and love that I honor this legacy of motherhood today. Happy Mother's Day, Mom. I love you.

Avoiding Religion Part Two

So in Part one of "Avoiding Religion" I discussed the dangers of religion for the Christian. In this post, I'll be focusing on the dangers of religion for the non-Christian.



     Religion is a dangerous commodity. In fact, I believe our country's push toward religion is one of the primary reasons we're seeing a lack of interest in regards to God and the church.

     The fact that we, as a nation, are pulling away from God is no surprise to me. We are a people desperate for something more, yet blind to everything that could save us. The more we disregard God's word and the very existence of God, the more willingly we accept and even welcome immorality... and certain destruction.

     But what is the reason behind our country's obvious acceleration to sin? Is it something specific? Could it be that our country has been so saturated with religion in politics in the past that people are just tired of it? Maybe our generation is hit hard by the hypocrisy and unrealistic impressions of morality in the church. Personally, I believe the morality children are being taught in our schools and homes is largely to blame. They are taught good and evil. Smiling, sharing, loving...? Good. Lying, cheating, and stealing...? Bad.  But based on what? Are they given something to back up the reasoning and purpose behind such claims?

      It's no wonder we have so many problems with our youth today. There is nothing to stop them from creating morality for themselves. Nothing to hold them back when they decide they think something's right or wrong. Notice, THEY choose. (Proverbs 14:12 - There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof [are] the ways of death.) 

     There is another reason that I believe has a great affect on our culture's decline in true Christianity. More often than not, those who claim "Christianity" do not really hold fast to the true meaning of the word. Many call themselves Christians, but have no clue what that really means. Or worse, the Christian knows, but looks no different from the world. So this leaves onlookers confused. What's so great about Christianity if it looks no different than everything else? What's the point?

     So how does the overuse of religion fit into all of this? It's simple. Not unlike religion for the Christian, it takes the focus off of the Truth and instead, onto self; what man can do to be good enough, to fit in, to measure up, or to feel positive about himself.

     When doing a good deed for others, the motive becomes self gratifying if it isn't done in the name of Christ. "Meditating" to feel spiritual only opens the doors of the mind to any evil Satan cares to slip in. Going to church just to please "The Man Upstairs" in case our good deeds weren't enough to weigh out the bad this week, means nothing when we are commanded obedience over sacrifice.

      We live in a world built of religious people who have good intentions but remain uninformed. In seeking to be enlightened they have lingered in the dark. In seeking to be religious, they have become a generation who have advanced willingly towards their silent killer, and so continue to be pervaded with it's deadly poison.

     Standing on it's own, religion means nothing, at least in the sense that it gains nothing. When we let ourselves get distracted with trying to be spiritual enough or appear religious enough to look good, please society, or make ourselves feel better, we miss the point.  And when our deeds are not done in the name of Jesus Christ, we may as well have not done them at all. It makes us feel good about ourselves for doing these good deeds and thus only pull farther away from God in trying to measure up to the standard we've set. And I'm afraid it's a pretty low bar, people.

     We are witnessing a country who completely rejects God by using religion as a mask to cover the reality of certain destruction. The irony is painful, and the day of destruction is so much closer than they may think.

Avoiding Religion Part One

Avoiding Religion: To the Christian
     There once was an enthusiastic woman. She had a husband to whom she was completely devoted. In fact, she promised herself she would remain dedicated to him forever. In doing so, she also decided she needed to prove herself worthy to him so he could truly love her.

      So this woman decided to learn about her man. She wanted to understand every aspect of him, ways she could better help him, when this devotion started, and in what ways could she encourage it to continue. But the woman didn't just stop there. She traveled to all the places he'd been, walked where he walked, and even talked like he talked. She met his friends... and his enemies. She learned about him in every way imaginable. She acted in a way that she knew would please him. She knew she had to be the perfect wife.

      While on her expedition, anyone who met this woman was impressed. The ladies wished they were more dedicated like her. Men wished they had wives who loved them as much as this woman seemed to love her husband.

     "Such a devout wife", they would remark. "This is a woman of character. She is not afraid to work hard to get what she wants. She sets out to find what she's looking for and is successful. And all of this to please her husband..."


      It made her feel good inside to hear these things. It pushed her to try harder and work harder to be the one her husband would accept. In fact, as she did so, she had this hope in the back of her mind that this would be a way to prove the validity of her love to this man.
   
     Then, the day came.... Her journey had reached it's end. The people she met were gone, the places she had visited were but a distant memory, and her aspirations and dreams were fulfilled. But would it be enough to impress the man she loved?

     She went to the door of her house, and crept inside. Her eyes traveled across the room, from the empty living space, to the messy kitchen, and the barren dining area. Suddenly, an elderly man entered the front room. The woman jumped back with a start.

     "Who are you?" She demanded, a little taken off guard. "I'm looking for my husband."

      The deep-set wrinkles in the man's brow increased as he looked at her closely. He took a step forward.

     "I", he stated slowly, "I am your husband." The woman stared in disbelief.

      "That can't be!" she countered. "I know my husband. Better than his own mother! I've studied him and everything about him. You sir, cannot be that man." However, he continued to look at her sadly.


     "You don't recognize me because you haven't spent any time with me. While I was taking a morning walk in the neighborhood, you were off touring my childhood home. The days I came home from a rough day at work with cold dinner as my only consolation, you were reading documents at the library about the day I was born. As I sat alone by the fireplace at night with a cup of green tea, you were having dinner with those I haven't seen in over 20 years. While my life forged on, as does any other, you were not there because you were too busy trying to learn about me and earn my respect. But I was right here the whole time. Waiting for the chance to learn and grow along side you. Waiting to care for you. Waiting to love you. Baby, you don't recognize me because you don't even know me." 

     At this point, tears were streaming his bride's face. She had made a mistake that cost her the relationship she had devoted her whole life to maintain. In trying to earn the right to be cared for, she had lost her one chance to experience a relationship that would have melted any fear of rejection. A love given that could not be gained through something she did, nor ever could be. In trying to earn a love her spouse gave freely, it had all been lost... 


     I don't consider myself a religious person. Actually, I aim to avoid "religion" as much as possible. Classifying myself as one who is "Religious" immediately puts all religions at the same level. Buddhism, Mormonism, Christianity, Hinduism... All are forced into a crowded and invisible coffin of good works and unobtainable perfection. To be religious is to be piously moral, saintly, or devout. What's wrong with these things, you ask? Well, everything... when done in our own strength. When we are trying to be "religious", we are trying to attain something that was already achieved; the saving grace of Jesus Christ. In the story above, we saw a woman who went to great lengths to learn all she could about her husband. She worked hard. She was unrelenting. She was determined. Yet she forgot the most important thing,.. spending time with her husband. You know... Relationship.

     Being religious denotes self. It brings glory to the good behavior and holy living of a working saint, rather than bringing to the forefront the actions of an awesome Creator.

     Works are not the coupons we parade during our Christian walk in order to gain the good deals of God's blessings. He loves His people. Nothing we can do or say will ever change that. Instead of using our works to help self, we offer them to God as a meager sacrifice of thanksgiving and praise. Our good works should proclaim the goodness of God and showcase His power to save those who are utterly unable to do so themselves.

     You see, with the right approach to our Christian walk, we will lose all aspects of a simple religion, at least in the way the world would see it. As we draw closer to God, we find instead a relationship with a Father who loves us. With this perspective in our hearts and the experience of the grace of God in our lives, the idea and practice of Christianity as a "religion" really couldn't be further from the truth.

Jeremiah 33:3 - Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.

Revelation 3:20 - Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.

James 4:8 - Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse [your] hands, [ye] sinners; and purify [your] hearts, [ye] double minded.


   

Mirrored Reality

      We have two mirrors in the  restroom downstairs. One is a normal mirror and the other, an antique mirror that is slightly tinted with a gentle pinkish tan shade. It's slight, however; hardly noticeable unless you compare the two side-by-side.

     When looking at myself in the mirror, washing my face, or putting on makeup, the temptation is to look into the one that is tinted. It's right in front of me. It's a charming mirror. Not to mention, I feel better about myself this way. My face is less marred and even a bit tan. It's nice... But it isn't authentic. For a true depiction of my skin tone and facial state, I must look in our other mirror, sitting quietly to it's right. But that mirror tells all. That mirror doesn't hide my flaws. That mirror is the mirror of reality.

     In life, we are given two mirrors. The first mirror arrogantly stands in front of us as our default. It makes us feel good about ourselves. It makes us feel indifferent and justified. This mirror is the mirror of the world. Facing myself through a glass wall that is tinted with egotism, complacency, bitterness, conformity, and self-gratification, I feel pretty good. With all of this to compare as a marred reality, I know that I am winsome and ethical in the sight of the society of this world and every glorified idol to which it's devotion lies.

     The second mirror stands for absolute truth. It doesn't hide my flaws. In fact, as I look at my barren reflection, I see not only the defects I was aware of, but many others that would have, were it not for the honest image staring back at me, remained in happy oblivion.

     Sin is a bitter reality we don't like to face. It's easier to ignore it, look away, put off the inevitable, pretend it doesn't exist. What happens then? Nothing at first. No spiritual growth, no innovation, no joy. Nothing to show for a life that should be a plethora of wisdom and vision, hope and tenacity. Then... the changes happen. Sin doesn't just sit in one place in our heart and mind. It is constantly moving, constantly working. Not just satisfied to infect our life, it's passion is to destruct our soul.

     We stare into one mirror and see a veiled existence that feeds a lie. This is when destruction comes because we don't know the sin is even there, to deal with it. When we look into the mirror of truth, the infallible word of God, it's not always easy to face. The true reality? We are full of disgusting, ugly sin. However, God's word not only brings us face to face with truth, but provides us with a way of escape. It grants us cleansing that comes only through Christ's blood, which washes away all impurities, creating an image that reflects God's unfathomable glory.

     When you look into a mirror that is tinted by the world, you give yourself to be bound by its chains, through sins you never knew existed because you chose not to see them.

Here...And Gone...

     Time is a puzzling thing. Often, life flies by so fast I feel I can hardly keep up. Things that took place a while ago seems to have happened yesterday. But then, I look back at events in the past few years of my life that feel an eternity away.

     These thoughts were running through my mind this past Saturday as I stood a few feet away from the bonfire, laughter, and chatter at Family Camp, in Prescott AZ. I turned to look into the dark woods to my right, suddenly realizing that this was the last place I had spoken to my Mom. One year ago, only a week early to the day, I had talked to her on the phone and told her "I love you" for the very last time. It was a strange realization. I remember thinking I could almost believe she wasn't sick, as I heard her cheerful voice on the other end.

      Time is something we may never understand. I remembered this bonfire taking place a year ago and it felt like it happened only weeks prior. Yet as I remember the terrible battle Mom faced with her cancer, it seems years and years away.

     I'm so thankful we serve a God who stands outside of time as the Creator of time. He is the great "I Am". As we were entering the first of Mom's diagnosis, He was waiting at the end. As we were in the middle of the hardship, our God had already seen us through.

     Unbound by time, Jehovah Jireh, our Provider WILL see us through because He has ALREADY seen us through. And I think few things in this world could ever bring more comfort.

     This day comes with much love to my Mom, as on her birthday, she resides in the place where tears are wiped away, sin is forever defeated, and where she may joyfully praise her Savior, directly in His glorious and most holy presence. It sure doesn't get better than that. ‪#‎Hoppman2015‬ 

Defective Faith

"...So they took up Jonah and cast him forth into the sea; and the sea ceased from her raging. Then the men feared the Lord exceedingly, and offered a sacrifice unto the Lord, and made vows." (Jonah 1:15-16)

     The above verses are not a story about men who were heathens, saw the mighty power of God, and repented of their sins. This is an example of men who had a fear of God, and probably nothing more. This was a fear that made them weak-kneed, a fear that caused them to recollect their sins and faults, a fear that brought them to reverence before a powerful God. At least, this is what we may take from the little given about them in this passage. This fear, however, was a skittish reverence, rather than sorrowful repentance.

     The Bible says that at the name of God, even the demons fear and tremble. (James 2:19) They know He exists. This is already established. Yet they, along with Satan, have rejected God, and they will continue to do so for eternity. So the question then remains for our own hearts and lives: is there repentance from sin, and a life turned away from wickedness? Is there a rejection of the "Old man"? Has that fear birthed only reverence... or repentance? Do our action represent our fear: "I may be destroyed" or do they proclaim: "I have been redeemed."?

     Dependent on the answer are two very different outcomes.

   "...They will know us by our fruits..." (Matt. 7:16-20)  We can be recognized as saved through our deeds but it is not by these deeds that were are saved. Do you see the difference?

     If you are saved, yet constantly fear punishment and rejection for your sin, you are living under a condemnation that has been conquered at Calvary. Yet the sinner lives his life shackled and immovable by this eternity. It is a darkness that reeks of self-focused pity and hatred. It crushes him with the weight of unattainable piety. God did not call us to this. For what reason would you live this way as a Christian? If you have asked Christ into your heart and repented of your past life, there should be no condemnation or fear. You have been saved by the blood of the lamb, Jesus Christ, and He has freed you from these bonds. Otherwise your life becomes focused on good works and accomplishments. What you do or don't do becomes the basis for the salvation of others, and for yourself. This is a dangerous path.

     So what is the other side of this? Yes, we have sinned. Yes, we will make (Many) mistakes. The difference is, we live with the knowledge that despite our sins, we are not pushed away from God eternally. When we sin, we must repent, strive to do better, and remain in communion with God, knowing fully that our salvation is not determined by our actions. "Wherefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and hope to the end for the grace that is to be brought unto you at the revelation of Jesus Christ; (1 Peter 1:13)

     The focus is not on self, but instead, God. Rather than looking to my actions and my words, I look to Christ, and His word, and how He will work through me. Does that make sense?

     With this knowledge, we will rejoice in our awesome God! We can live in freedom from the bondage of sin, and in utter devotion as a bond-servant of Christ.

     When you have been redeemed, you will desire to serve the One by whom you have been saved. You will strive to please and honor Him with everything in your being. You will be utterly sorrowful when you are brought to the knowledge of your sin, and will be quickly brought to repentance and restoration with Him.

     When the men on the ship bound for Tarshish threw Jonah into the tumultuous waves, they witnessed a miracle. The other god's they worshiped had never done anything like this! So out of fear, they made sacrifices to God. This was a God unlike the others. This was a God who they believed to be feared. However, that doesn't mean they changed their ways or stopped serving their false gods. They were still bound by a works based faith in many things, and in self. It was a defective faith.

     People will know you are saved because of your fruits. They will see an unwavering, steadfast joy as you serve God, the One who saved you from sin, saved you from condemnation, and saved you from an eternity without Him. This is how you are to live, so that you will have absolutely no fear when the time comes for you to die.

    Remember: "Thou believest that there is one God; thou doest well: the devils also believe, and tremble..." 

   Don't live in condemnation under a defective faith.

     Acts 3:18-19- "... But those things, which God before had shewed by the mouth of all his prophets, that Christ should suffer, he hath so fulfilled. Repent ye therefore, and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, when the times of refreshing shall come from the presence of the Lord;"    

   

Jesus Idols

     " The Lord is slow to anger, and great in power, and will not at all acquit the wicked: the Lord hath his way in the whirlwind and in the storm, and the clouds are the dust of his feet.  He rebuketh the sea, and maketh it dry, and drieth up all the rivers:... The mountains quake at him, and the hills melt, and the earth is burned at his presence, yea, the world, and all that dwell therein. Who can stand before his indignation? and who can abide in the fierceness of his anger?"

     Interesting. This passage of scripture in Nahum not only speaks of our Lord as One who is slow to anger... But also great in power with the ability to cause chaos in nature. We don't often put the two together. We like to separate the qualities of directed strength vs gentle kindness because we don't think they meld quite right. Slow to anger rich in mercy... Yet seemingly full of wrath and Hell fire... And the two go together? I think we need to be careful with how we separate these truths. Whether it's just a thought we don't conceive, or an action we take in conversation, this subtle change we slap to the attributes of our Lord is a slippery slope.  We need to watch out.

 "  ...His fury is poured out like fire, and the rocks are thrown down by him.  The Lord is good, a strong hold in the day of trouble; and he knoweth them that trust in him. But with an overrunning flood he will make an utter end of the place thereof, and darkness shall pursue his enemies."

      So often I think we like to "Use" Jesus in a way that fits our particular issues or desires. We try to fit Him in an easy-to-understand mold. For example, we sometimes like to use our "Meek and Mild" Jesus. He is gentle, soft, and does not raise His voice or challenge much, if anything.  This is the Jesus we find in children's story books and at Sunday school. 

     We often like to pull out our "Judgement Jesus".  Anybody who gives us grief or are sinning, in our eyes, meet this Jesus. We like to pull this one out when we have to let folks know what's coming if they don't "Turn from their wicked ways".  

      And we can't forget the "Love and Peace Jesus" either. This one is probably most common.  This Jesus, of course, loves everybody. This Jesus accepts everybody and everything while ignoring your guilt and reminding you just how special you are, just the way you are; "Simply love and accept others and yourself".  

     Anyway, there are others, but I think you get the idea. The Bible warns us against false idols... Do you suppose we set up for ourselves idols when we keep trying to worship a Jesus of our choosing? Should we not be applying the warning against worship  of false gods, when we pull out certain things from Scripture about our Savior,  and discard the rest?

     Christ's attributes work together beautifully. Our God is not weak and yielding, nor is He abounding in anger and wrath towards his children.  Instead of trying to use our Savior's various qualities to our advantage, why don't we give Him credit as the One our Scripture portrays; the whole picture given to us through His word; the God who cannot be contained?  Why is it we refuse to accept  scripture as a whole, and instead pick out bits and pieces?  

      Our Lord is mighty yet gentle; wholly just yet loving; completely righteous yet forgiving. He is Three and yet One; here with us now, yet unbound by the confines of time; the great "I Am".  He is simple enough that a child may understand and trust Him... yet so grand and complex that our minds could never fathom His limitless and unbound power and greatness.  

     We must not let ourselves "See" Christ for who we want Him to be... Let's see Him for who He is, then step forward and be forever amazed by His greatness.  

*Scripture taken from Nahum 1:3-4b and 5-8 KJV

The Curse Removed

         "Thou sayest thy sin is little; then, if the sin be little, how little trouble it might have taken thee to have avoided it! If thy transgression be but small, at how small an expense thou mightest have refrained from it! Some have said, 'Surely the sin of Adam was but little; he did but take an apple.'  Ay, but in its littleness was its greatness. If it was a little thing to take the fruit, with how little trouble might it have been avoided! And because it was so small an act, there was couched within it the greater malignity of guilt. So, too, thou mayest never have blasphemed thy God, thou mayest never have desecrated his Sabbath; yet, insomuch as thou hast committed a little sin, thou art justly condemned, for a little sin hath in it the essence of all sin; and I know not but that what we call little sins may be greater in God's sight than those which the world universally condemns, and against which the hiss of the execration of humanity continually rises. I say, God is just, although from his lips should rush thunders to blast the entire universe; God is just, although he curses all. Tremble, man, and 'kiss the Son, lest he be angry, and ye perish by the way, when his wrath is kindled but a little.' The curse is universal, the curse is just." Wow. Great words from Charles Spurgeon in his sermon: "The Curse Removed".

Double Take

    

    2014 has been a hard year; there's no denying it. Looking back at previous years would be enjoyable, predictable, and perhaps a little nostalgic. I like to look back and reminisce. I appreciate seeing how God has shaped me through various hardships and experiences. Taking a typical "look back" at the year, across the years, has provided ample opportunity for such. However, this year has held more of the "Hardship" and "Experiences" than I, or probably anyone else, expected. Looking back proves to be sometimes difficult. The memories are not all happy ones... But how could anyone have known what was to come?    

  So my siblings and I will be entering this year without our sweet Mom. She was such a large part of our household; it's difficult and strange. It's such a bitter truth. but one that many face everyday. It's not particular to I or my family, it just feels that way as we go through it. 

   Of course, I'm not writing about this to  make you feel sad or discouraged. The sin nature is ever-present and death is just a harsh truth we will have to face throughout our lives. Yeah its tough, but it's reality. I'm writing about this because I would like to take another look back. I want you to see God and what He has done and can do in the lives of His children. When you look at something, the "first glance" is often perverted. The first conclusion is often flawed. Sometimes, it requires a double take to see things as they really are... 

    So here are some things I have noticed as we go through this. As Anton Ego from Ratatouille would say, "A little perspective"...  

   

    First, it has definitely drawn me closer to God. A relationship with God is something that must be maintained. You have to work at it. I'm thankful for the hard times because it has forced me to realize, once again, how needy and incapable I am in my own strength. It reminded me just how much I needed to trust in my Savior, no matter what.

 

    I've also noticed the body of Christ moving in an amazing way. When we needed help, they came around us and supported us. Our church family was quick to see a need and fill it. When we weren't around our immediate church family, other friends and brothers and sisters in Christ picked up where our church could not. They were there for us. Praise God for His body at work. This was what provided such a source of encouragement and comfort. It was a beautiful thing to see. 

   There were also things God was teaching us through others. Our family had to be able to accept the help so willingly given us. It's a funny thing. To need help but somehow still feel like we could pull things on our own. For me, my first inclination was to show that I was okay and could get through things without burdening others. However, when I accepted the help of the friends around me, it helped me realize how much I needed it. People wanted to help and needed the opportunity. It would be prideful to say I didn't need it and refuse simply because I didn't want to put the load on someone else. And again, regarding the Body of Christ at work, seeing that probably did more to encourage and uplift than anything else could.

     

   So here's the last bit of perspective I'd like to shed on this past year: Through the hardship, joy-filled times, laughter, and sorrow, God has shown His glory through it all. It's my constant prayer; "Lord, may Your name be glorified." I've had many people tell me this past year that watching our family has encouraged them, strengthened their faith, and brought them closer to Christ. I've seen renewed relationships, people putting differences aside for the collective purpose of helping us out. I've seen the hand of God on our family and in turn, touching others for the better. In no way do I credit this to us! Clearly, it's God working through us and despite us, and for that I thank and praise Him continually. Our God is an awesome God! I can only pray that His hand of blessing will continue to touch our lives and the lives of those around us in the years to come.

   What you have just read is only a minuscule part of the "Double take". It is just a tiny part of what I've observed through this year. It's not even an extensive list! How much more is God doing that we have yet to see? How much has He done that we won't know until later? How many lives has He worked in that we won't even see until heaven? How exciting is that? 

   I'm going to end this blog post with some words from Oswald Chambers:

"As we go forth into the coming year, let it not be in the haste of impetuous, unremembering delight, not with the flight of impulsive thoughtfulness, but with the patient power of knowing that the God of Israel will go before us; it is true that we have lost opportunities which will never return, but God can transform this destructive anxiety into a constructive thoughtfulness for the future....Leave the irreparable past in His hands, and step out into the irresistible future with Him."

   As you enter the year 2015, always remember that our first idea of what is going on around us is not always going to be correct. We only see a little tiny part of the big picture. If you find yourself discouraged after drawing first conclusions of a matter, stop for a double take and see if the Lord doesn't show you something different. 

  Happy New Year, my friends. 

"But A Vapor"...

      Death is a hard pill to swallow. It often leaves those involved confused, hurt, and angry. However, by God's grace, we will deal with our loss in a way that honors His name. As odd as it sounds, death is a part of life, and it's only through death that we truly live.

     It's not as if I thought something like this couldn't happen to me. I've always tried to resolve conflicts between I and a family member as soon as possible; making sure we didn't have a rift, particularly before the late evening, or as they were traveling someplace by car. The thought would cross my mind, "What if something were to happen? What if they got into an accident and I never saw them again?" Bearing this in mind, a hug, smile, signing "I love you", or the last lingering word before they left was always important, in my mind.
 
     But the reality really hits home when a loved one is truly gone. Gone, leaving a thousand things unsaid; leaving behind imminent memories that will never be made...

     I was talking with a couple good friends the other day. They mentioned some wedding planning Mother and daughter would be doing together. It struck a thought in my mind. That is something I will never have... Planning my future wedding alongside my Mom. It's just something that happens, it's expected... but something I will never experience.

     My younger siblings have been on my mind as well. They too will grow up without their Mother. Little Keturah, Josiah, the twins... So young. So many experiences to come and so much of life before them; yet they are motherless.

   I guess it's common to ask "Why?". Why would God take Mom from us, why would God let her suffer?... Honestly, I never really found myself asking these questions. We have so much more than we deserve and wishing Mom was still here with us seems almost selfish to me. She's so much happier than I could ever fathom. We weep now because we want her back. I want her back. I want these times with her. There are things I want to tell her. I want to go through my life, through the trials, the hardships, and all of it's joys and beautiful experiences, with her. It seems selfish.

    So I don't ask "Why"... However, this doesn't make the sadness any less, nor does it help the emptiness we now feel without her presence. It's amazing what one person's life can create in such a short amount of time and the lasting impression it can have on others.

   Of course, as expected, life moves on despite our circumstances. Memories will be made, sorrow will come, hardship, temptations, and experiences will sprinkle this path called life. Death is a part of life but the hole one leaves is hard to fill. I thank God we do not walk this path alone.

"... His anger is but for a moment,
His favor is for a lifetime;
Weeping may last for the night,
But a shout of joy comes in the morning"

   Don't take for granted the little things in your life. These are things that make a lifetime. These are opportunities that are fleeting. At once it's here and the next moment, dissipated like a mist greeted by the sun.

   So enjoy the little moments in your day; revel in them. Take delight in the gentle smile of a loved one, the dirty hands of a child at play, the reading of God's word together, young shouts of glee and enthusiasm, voices lifted in song, the strain and sweat of hard work, the grace of a kind word, a glistening tear in a softened eye, the honor in adversity as you journey through life with those you love... Each and every little thing create a lasting impression on those around you. Don't take them for granted. Don't let them pass you by unnoticed. Instead, step out and work through the moments. Stand strong on God's word and follow Him with a steadfast heart and unwavering trust in His love; for you, my friend, will be making impressions that last a lifetime.

Vegetable Soup-Vegan/Vegetarian/Paleo

Here is a soup recipe I made up for Mom and thought I'd share it with you all! I didn't put amounts down-They vary, depending on what you like. It's soup... Have fun with it! :-)

Kelsianne's Vegetable Soup (Vegan/Vegetarian/Paleo)

Ingredients:
Vegetable juice pulp (Soup flavor will vary depending on what's in the pulp)
Organic Mixed Vegetables
Water
Tomato Sauce
Onion
Kale
Canned Kidney Beans
Canned Pinto Beans
Canned Mushrooms
Mixed Vegetables
Bragg's Liquid Aminos
Garlic
Salt (Opt.)
Olive oil/coconut oil (About 1T)

Put the pulp on the stove on Med. heat in some water. (Maybe about 2-3 cups of water to one cup pulp?-I just eye it) Bring it to a boil, then stir it, and turn the heat down to Med-Low and let it simmer for 1-2 hours. After finished cooking, strain the pulp from the juice. (Make sure to squeeze all the juice you can get out of it!) Put the juice (Soup base) back on the stove on Med heat.  Saute onions in oil till edges are golden brown.  Add them to the soup base. Then add the next five ingredients.  Add Bragg's, Salt, and Garlic to taste. Simmer for a few minutes or until thoroughly heated and kale is cooked. If you are able to have dairy, a sprinkle of Parmesan cheese on top really hits the spot. Enjoy!

Hope

       As some of you know, my two brothers and I are with my Mom at a Euro Clinic in AZ as we try to beat this cancer that threatens to take over her body. The hand of God is evidenced by what I've watched around me; the body of Christ pulling together to encourage, pray, and give a helping hand in a time of need. Praise God.

      A few nights back, I had some thoughts that were coming to my mind in regards to a recent visit to a another clinic in the area, in hopes of getting some relief for Mom's arm, which is currently swollen with lymphodema. 

     It occurred to me how much hope is able lift one's disposition and on the other hand, how discouragement and hopelessness can bring our spirits critically low. 

      Back in NM, when Mom was first diagnosed with stage four breast cancer, we were offered very little hope. The best they could give us with contemporary medicine was "buying time" and "quality of life".  They stamped down a time-frame which, with treatment, could buy her a little time with her family. While even one day more with her was a blessing, this news was not favorable or encouraging. However, this was our reality. In our hands and through man's work, this was the most that could be done...... But God.

      When we did the research, we found a few places Mom could go where they were ready to try more than "buy time", but instead, bring her back to health. Were there any guarantees? No, of course not. But we had that spark of hope that kept us trying more, rather than throw in the towel. The interesting thing is, this in itself improves one's "Quality of Life", which seemed to be a buzz-word back at the hospital.

    So now we've been taking her to a clinic in Arizona and things are going pretty well, thus far. However, Mom's arm has been pretty swollen with  lymphodema, so we took her into another clinic and met with a woman who was going to do some massage, wrapping, etc to hopefully bring it down.

    We sat down with her and began our first meeting, the "evaluation", to determine where Mom was and what could be done to help her. It didn't go too well. The lady we met with was nice; very cordial and explained the situation and how the meeting would work... But it was pathetic. She saw Mom, heard she didn't have any lymph nodes removed or "real treatment" done, and shook her head in pity. Alternative medicine, in general, was not something she put stock in. She told us she was pretty sure she couldn't do much to help Mom's swollen arm but she would wrap it and see if that changed anything.

    Nearing the end of the meeting, I was trying to explain Euro clinic's methods for treatment to kill the cancer. She began to shake her head then looked me straight in the eye.

 "You do realize they're not ever going to get rid of the cancer... They're buying you time but that's it... You know that, right?"

    Yes, I "knew". I knew the clinic has been working towards more than "buying her time". I was very aware of the "Worst Case Scenario", if you will. I knew what this cancer may and should be doing to her. However, I also knew the God we serve is bigger than all that.

    As the meeting went on, the "lymphodema lady", (as we later called her) began to bring Euro clinic further into question. "So, how do they test progress?" Mom couldn't remember. The lady lowered her eyes and gave a knowing shake of her head. "See?" Her gaze fell on these poor, naive folks in front of her who were blindly following a pipe dream.

   At this point, the discouragement of Mom's condition and the lack of hope for progress was wearing on me, but I looked at "lymphodema lady" and manged a few words.

    "Back at the hospital, they gave us no hope with traditional medicine. The best it could do was give us a bit of time, and even then, they didn't expect her to last very long." I stopped as I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Just the fact that she is alive, and breathing, and functioning, to me, is progress."

    As I later thought about that meeting, I realized how much it reminded me of our experience back in NM. Mom was having tests done at the hospital, and the gravity of the situation was just starting to weigh on us. Every day we went, every new test that was done... was a struggle. The more we found out, the worse it got, and it was dismal. But praise God for the hope He grants us through the power of His name and the opportunities he puts before us that gives us the strength we need to go on.

    I don't know what the outcome of this story will be. However, no-matter what comes our way, I know without a shadow of a doubt that we do not walk this path alone. I don't know know what will happen... But my God does and it's in His hands to which our spirit's and our lives are committed.

  I pray that we, as the Psalmist, may declare with righteous fervor: "And now, Lord, what wait I for? My hope is in Thee." Praise Him.