I tried to take in every moment. To cherish this special time and make each part of the ceremony a heartfelt promise of my commitment to Andrew. I sang a surprise song to him, we each said our vows, exchanged rings, shared in communion, and of course, sealed our commitment with a kiss. An upbeat tune began as we were announced: "Mr. and Mrs. Andrew Holets!" We then made our way down the aisle; slowly at my request, for I had discovered that my sparkly high heels and the fresh grass were not a pleasant combo.
Making our way back up for pictures it was clear... that storm was getting closer. As the cameras were clicking rapidly, the sun's rays were quickly masked by the dark and brooding storm. Being an aspiring photographer myself, I was perfectly happy with the cloud cover. After all, an overcast day is perfect for photos!
It was only when the photographer was just snapping the last of the photos that I felt it... A raindrop. I big fat NM raindrop. That was followed by another, then another, and another. I thought I'd state the obvious. "It's starting to rain."
"Yep" agreed one of the groomsman. "I felt it too." The wedding party was quickly hustled into the bridal chambers as the drops began to fall more steadily. Arriving in the room, we all stood there for a moment. I decided to sit down and give my feet a break from my heels. Andrew, realizing his legs were pretty tired as well, contentedly took his place by my side.
"Do you guys want some time alone?" asked one of the bridesmaids. At that moment, everyone in the wedding party seemed to unanimously agree this was a very needful thing, so Andrew and I quickly found ourselves the only individuals in the room. Amused, we looked at each other and smiled. I snuggled just a bit closer. Then the door burst open.
"Oh! I didn't realize you two were alone. Sorry about that." It was Andrews mother bringing us a couple guests who she knew we would appreciated saying hello to before they made their early departure. We were grateful. We chatted a bit, thanked them for the well wishes, and bid them goodbye. The door shut behind them. We were alone again.
We sat back down on the couch. Where were we? Andrew slipped his arm around me as I moved closer to his side. We looked into each-others eyes. They quickly darted to the door as it burst open once again.
"Oops! Sorry, am I interrupting?", my bridesmaid was quick to inquire. In her arms was her baby daughter.
"No problem, it's nothing anyway" we were quick to assure her.
"I've just got to nurse. I'll stay in the bathroom so I'm not interrupting. I'll just knock to let you know when I'm going to come back out." She gave a big grin that insinuated we would be doing more than just sitting beside one another. She left. Well, sort of. It was suddenly in the forefront of our minds that with only a thin wall and wooden door separating the bathroom from our view, she was basically sharing the room with us, privy to any noise or conversation.
So there we sat. We shared another smile. It was quiet for a few seconds. But this time I don't think either one of us were surprised when, once again, we were interrupted. A knock sounded and the door burst open. It was my matron of honor. She rushed in apologetically, quickly setting some items down in the room that had been soaked from the rain. The door which was currently ajar gave us a glimpse into the impending chaos outside. The rain beat down, creating a huge puddle by the door as our friends and wedding party struggled to get everything out of the way that would be ruined, if left in the downpour. Then the door shut. We were alone again... Minus nursing momma a wall away.
The door opened again. Andrew's mother was back with more guests. I felt like so much was happening beyond that door which everyone was making sure we didn't stress about. I appreciated it, but it was also nice to have another brief interaction with a couple of our guests, who were preparing to leave early, and thus scooped up by my new MIL so we would have the chance to say hello.
After they left we sat back down. Almost immediately following, the wedding party, having given us ample time to do whatever they thought we needed to be alone for, were ushered back into the room with us.
As the rain finally slowed and revealed a dimmed sunset, roughly forty minutes had passed and we were ready to eat. All of our guests had been ushered into the church (So thankful we had it available on the property) and were happily chatting and eating there. Due to the lost time from the rainstorm, any thought of dramatic introductions of the wedding party was cast aside, as we managed our way across the huge puddle in front of the door. Slipping through a side door, we made our way into the church. After greeting all our guests, we finally managed to sit in a quieter part of the room, and grab a bite to eat.
The rain had stopped by now as groomsmen, bridesmaids, bride, and groom made our way to the front of the bridal chamber. Guests took their places at the tables outside, and an only slightly wet wedding party were announced as we found our seats in the grass. Toasts were given and as the last of the sun set, we had our first dance. I then danced with my Dad, then Andrew, with his Mom.
The lively music played as the real dancing began and although that portion of the reception was brief, I enjoyed myself. There was something beautiful and refreshing about the raindrops that were left behind on the grass and dripping trees in the clear air, as everyone danced under the pergola, gently lit in the darkened night.
The sendoff, though a bit chaotic trying to remember everything before we left (Which included a valiant rush for a forgotten bag by my matron and maid of honor) was beautiful. The sparklers were going strong, the night air was clear, and I was pleasantly surprised that the groomsmen hadn't done anything too crazy to our vehicle. Yay! We were off, leaving behind our friends and adventures, for a week up in Taos.
Thinking back on the wedding brought to mind certain correlations with my life up to that day. I don't lead a particularly exciting life. At least, not in the sense that some may imagine. However, the events and circumstances I have previously encountered on a personal level, have created what feels like a full lifetime of experience.
My Christian walk had been a myriad of questions, study, and mistakes that led me to the place when I was finally ready to make this faith my own. Struggling through a very difficult church split was what ultimately pushed me to begin this quest. Some time later, my Mom passed away within less than a year of her cancer diagnosis. With the many joyful memories I have of her, the suffering she endured throughout the disease created many difficult, and unpleasant memories during that dark time. But I was then granted a newfound joy that was fresh and beautiful, as God brought Andrew into my life.
As we walk in a world of hurt and pain with a God who reaches beyond, it's easy to lose sight of His hand, through the storm. It's easy to think our moments of sorrow are too great to bear, so we bear them alone. We grind down and struggle through the trials without appreciating His vast sovereignty throughout. The omnipotent hand of God is something we will never understand. Yet a little insight can be reached, if we don't shut our eyes through it all.
Getting into a relationship this summer would have put her over the moon with joy. She would have been elated for me, and loved on Andrew like a son, even more than she already had for so many years when he would hang out at the house with my brother. 
Sorrow Transformed to Joy
