Saturday, October 11, 2014

"But A Vapor"...

      Death is a hard pill to swallow. It often leaves those involved confused, hurt, and angry. However, by God's grace, we will deal with our loss in a way that honors His name. As odd as it sounds, death is a part of life, and it's only through death that we truly live.

     It's not as if I thought something like this couldn't happen to me. I've always tried to resolve conflicts between I and a family member as soon as possible; making sure we didn't have a rift, particularly before the late evening, or as they were traveling someplace by car. The thought would cross my mind, "What if something were to happen? What if they got into an accident and I never saw them again?" Bearing this in mind, a hug, smile, signing "I love you", or the last lingering word before they left was always important, in my mind.
     But the reality really hits home when a loved one is truly gone. Gone, leaving a thousand things unsaid; leaving behind imminent memories that will never be made...

     I was talking with a couple good friends the other day. They mentioned some wedding planning Mother and daughter would be doing together. It struck a thought in my mind. That is something I will never have... Planning my future wedding alongside my Mom. It's just something that happens, it's expected... but something I will never experience.

     My younger siblings have been on my mind as well. They too will grow up without their Mother. Little Keturah, Josiah, the twins... So young. So many experiences to come and so much of life before them; yet they are motherless.

   I guess it's common to ask "Why?". Why would God take Mom from us, why would God let her suffer?... Honestly, I never really found myself asking these questions. We have so much more than we deserve and wishing Mom was still here with us seems almost selfish to me. She's so much happier than I could ever fathom. We weep now because we want her back. I want her back. I want these times with her. There are things I want to tell her. I want to go through my life, through the trials, the hardships, and all of it's joys and beautiful experiences, with her. It seems selfish.

    So I don't ask "Why"... However, this doesn't make the sadness any less, nor does it help the emptiness we now feel without her presence. It's amazing what one person's life can create in such a short amount of time and the lasting impression it can have on others.

   Of course, as expected, life moves on despite our circumstances. Memories will be made, sorrow will come, hardship, temptations, and experiences will sprinkle this path called life. Death is a part of life but the hole one leaves is hard to fill. I thank God we do not walk this path alone.

"... His anger is but for a moment,
His favor is for a lifetime;
Weeping may last for the night,
But a shout of joy comes in the morning"

   Don't take for granted the little things in your life. These are things that make a lifetime. These are opportunities that are fleeting. At once it's here and the next moment, dissipated like a mist greeted by the sun.

   So enjoy the little moments in your day; revel in them. Take delight in the gentle smile of a loved one, the dirty hands of a child at play, the reading of God's word together, young shouts of glee and enthusiasm, voices lifted in song, the strain and sweat of hard work, the grace of a kind word, a glistening tear in a softened eye, the honor in adversity as you journey through life with those you love... Each and every little thing create a lasting impression on those around you. Don't take them for granted. Don't let them pass you by unnoticed. Instead, step out and work through the moments. Stand strong on God's word and follow Him with a steadfast heart and unwavering trust in His love; for you, my friend, will be making impressions that last a lifetime.


Gabriel Hudelson said...

Beautiful thoughts, Kelsey.

Chloe said...

Wonderful post! My father passed away when I was very young.. and growing up without him is painful sometimes. But God is soo faithful and so true, He is there ALL THE TIME!!!

Alicia A. Willis said...

Talk about making me cry, Kelsey. :) I missed your Mom so much myself. Every day I think about all the special times we shared. You are amazing - God's grace shines through you. Keep going strong. I know it will not be ANYTHING like doing it with your Mom, but I'm always here to help you plan your wedding someday. ;)

Seriah Getty said...

kelsey--thank you so much for this beautiful reminder to not take anything for granted. You are an inspiration to me!
I'm praying for you and your family. :)

crystal said...

I have always known that you were very special, Kelsey, but through this recent hardship, I have seen you shine even brighter. You did everything without complaint and never thought about yourself. I am SO sorry about your loss. Your mom was blessed to have you as a daughter. I know you will miss her greatly and I will too. You are in my prayers daily. Love You!

Blessed Homemaking said...

We miss her too, Kelsey, so much. Sometimes it's so hard to believe she's gone from this earth. May God continue to give you the grace to carry on, day by day, as well as your siblings and your dad as well. You are a blessing.

Brytni Jade said...

This is my first time visiting your blog... I am glad I "found" you! Thank you for sharing your faith and hope in God! You are in my prayers though I do not personally know you, I see you love the LORD and so we have something very precious in common! May He continue to bless you with comfort and hope in Himself... One day you'll see your mother again and together you'll worship our LORD! Something far greater in importance & pleasure than any earthly pursuit!

Caiti Marie said...

Kelsianne, you don't know me, but I've been reading your blog for a very long time. I wanted to send you a message and let you know that I have been praying for you... A lot. Your faith and strength through this, as I've seen through your blog, are inspiring to me. I pray with all my heart that the Lord will comfort you and your family, that He will strengthen you, that He will be near you and in you and for you. God bless you, beautiful sister in Christ.